30 years . . .

Yesterday we celebrated thirty years. . . . . that sounds so long, but yet I could truly say that it only feels like thirty days some times. . . . our love is stronger than ever, my best friend and dream-maker . . . all my dreams came true the day I got married and I'm living the next thirty years believing in many more dreams that will come true. . . . Mark, always there for me, always caring, always . . . . . loving me.

Perfection . . . .

A little mouth, sweet nose, big brown eyes, ten toes, ten fingers. . . .and that sweet smell of fresh baby......oh so sweet, perfect in the eyes of God. Who are we to wonder who our creator is.....what a miracle this life is.

Being a grandmother (aka Nana) has changed my perspective on life. It's the little things that matter, the sweet little nothings that I forgot to see in my own children because I was too busy with "stuff". Do I regret that I missed it then, absolutely....BUT....I won't miss it now.....I have a second chance to receive every picked dandelion, read every story, put every puzzle together 5, 10, 15 times over and over again, give baths with blue colored water, eat dessert first, swing for hours.....gosh, I dont want to miss a minute of those times. I love it when those little guy's reach up for my hand, and fit their little fingers inside mine and squeeze when walking across the street. What security we give them, and what love connection is in that little touch.

My heart has learned how to love again through the eyes of a child, my grandchildren, to be exact. A softer love, a tender love, a caring love, a patient love, a happy love and an everlasting love......just like HE loves us......a warm, snuggly love.....don't you love it....I do.

A beginning......

Trying to find the "right" words to start off this newly discovered world of blogging (in the old days this was called "journaling") has been extremely difficult for me. I have been staring at the blank computer screen many times, only to just shut it down and write nothing; thinking I have nothing to share, time and time again, thinking one day, I'll have the right mind-set, attitude, and heart to start sharing my world. Well, who knew that it would take my sweet niece from Austin to give me an attitude adjustment and a swift kick "forward" to start my "blog" inspiration.

You see, she may only be 28, but she has always been there to give me inspiration when I needed it the most. Though her life has been an interesting journey, we have been there for each other and encouraged each other with positive words, loved each other when we didn't feel loved, and shared the joys and pitfalls of our families with each other when we didn't know who to turn to.....and through it all we survived. She is wise beyond her years and I love her like a daughter, actually I claim her as my Texas daughter!!!

Talking about surviving, we DO have a great role model in that category. However, I'll save that for another post. My hero, and all time most cherished woman on earth, my mom!

Ok, so back to blogging....the concept for my blog, is this: I feel like a "tweener". Now I know that's a term for kids that are too old to be called kids and too young to be called adults.....but I feel like that term can be applied to ME! I feel like I'm in between being too young to be "old" and too old to be "young". Not quite ready for retirement, but soon, not quite ready for empty nest (can't get the kid(s) to leave (smile!)), ahhhhh yes, and the symptoms of menopause are closing in, but not all of them but feeling a few of them.....so I think that life is full of joys, sorrow, laughter, love, and tears. It's balance that I'm looking for....

The aches and pains of getting older, just not ready to accept them, and fighting them every step of the way......I refuse to let those aches and pains of life suck the joy out of my life! But let's be real, life happens and we must deal with it. So, I'm going to be real....because some of my life battles must be someone else's as well.

It's a journey, I'm choosing to grab God's hand and we are gonna walk this path hand in hand.....come on, let's walk together.....it might not be pretty, but for goodness sake, if I wake up tomorrow breathing, I'm happy to have another day to say: Thank you God for letting me have another chance to do something new, to help someone today, to do something kind for someone else, to smile at that person who may be frowning, to hold the door for that elderly person at the grocery store, to wave at that little boy in the car at the stop light.....life is too precious, I don't want to miss out on those little things in life!!!!

So, thanks Elisabeth, you touched my heart this morning.....you gave your "old" auntie a reason to smile, and reflect and remember that I have worth......in the midst.......of this thing called life!